Keep an eye out for helicopters

I heard an old joke recently (you may have heard it, too) that I think is quite applicable to freelance writing.

With the water rising rapidly in a flood, a truck pulls up to a man's front door and offers to take him away before it's too late. He refuses, saying: "I'm a Christian, and I know God will save me."

A few hours later, the man is forced to retreat to the second floor as flood waters creep up the side of his house. Some rescuers arrive with a boat, but he sends them away, declaring: "I'm a Christian, and I know that God will save me."

Finally, the man is on his roof, clinging to the chimney, when a helicopter hovers just above him and drops down a rope ladder. "Thanks, but no," the man yells against the noise of the rotors. "I'm a Christian, and I know God will save me."

Soon after, the water closes over the roof, and the man drowns. He finds himself at the Pearly Gates, standing in front of St. Peter, and he says: "You know, I have to tell you, I was really hurt that I trusted God to save me, and he didn't."

St. Peter shakes his head in disbelief.

"What do you want?" he tells the man. "He sent you an truck, a boat and a helicopter."

I sense that this parable applies to a lot of freelancers. There are rope ladders dangling all around us -- on-line newsletters, writers' groups and services like this one -- but you have to reach up and grab them. Put other way, you can't sell anything if you don't try. And if you wait for editors to contact you, you'll probably drown.

Frustrations, and possible solutions

Last week, I asked for insights into the current frustrations facing freelance writers. One Writers' Bridge member, Marilyn Noble, put it very well -- therefore, I'm posting her thoughts here, along with some comments and possible solutions.

Freelance obstacles

Darrell, thanks for the nudge. I think freelancing has become markedly more difficult since I started more than a decade ago. I'm seeing challenges in several areas: Getting paid -- While there are many more markets now than there used to be, the vast majority of the...m pay so little that you can't make a living writing for them. The magazines that will pay a buck a word are few and far between, and a good number of those have seen their page counts shrink with the economy so they buy fewer articles. Magazines demand more rights than they used to and tend to pay later (after publication rather than on acceptance), making cash flow management tricky. Competition -- There are many more people freelancing than there used to be. So many journalists have been laid off and can't find jobs, and many of them have turned to freelancing. And then there are plenty of hobby writers who are willing to write for next to nothing or worse just to see their names in print. Quality -- Many markets, especially on-line, are willing to print almost anything, and they pay so little that they get inferior work from people who are either lazy or don't know better. Content mills seem to be driving this trend. So if you're a professional writer who spends time on research and lots of rewrites before you submit your work, your hourly rate is below the poverty level, while those who can slam out 300-word, semi-literate but optimized blog posts can at least make pocket change while they keep their day jobs. I guess what it boils down to is that good writers and good writing are no longer as valued as they used to be. I'm usually pretty upbeat and optimistic about the world, but I think this is a sad situation for those of us who are professionals. I don't know many writers any more who make a living solely from freelance work -- everybody is taking on whatever projects will pay the bills. A friend of mine calls this "giganomics" -- having to do lots of different gigs to make a living. So that's my take on things. What is everybody else experiencing?

A few thoughts ...

Alas, there's nothing any of us can do about the "content mills" that pay $10 an article. A lot of this is obviously exploitation, but I also know some of the folks in that business who can't afford to pay any more. And while some writers will take those jobs, no one is forcing you to be one of them. Getting mad about it is just a waste of energy.

So how do we, as experienced writers, go about standing out in the crowd with the higher-paying markets? And how can The Writers' Bridge help? I have a few long-term ideas ...

1. I would like to finish building a bridge to the other side, meaning the editors and publishers of magazines, newspapers and Websites. What TWB can do, ultimately, is provide a collective credibility. If we can guarantee as a group that articles will be written as agreed upon, submitted on time, and completely free of typos and grammatical errors, we can break through te natural reluctance of editors to use writers with whom they are unfamiliar. Every success story needs to have a matching validation from that customer. Eventually, word will get around.

Of course, how to build that bridge remains an issue. These days, there is often a "cyber-moat" around the castles of media, and one never knows if a pitch or a query or an invitation ever gets to the right person. It may take personal visits or attendance at editors' conferences, and I'm willing to do that.

2. We need to build our membership. This is obviously essential for me, since that's what pays our bills. But it's also essential for the group as a whole. The more writers we have, in more places, the more chances we have of coming across unique stories that will sell.

3. My goal is to start up at least one magazine, with TWB members as the contributors.

Any other suggestions would be welcomed. My primary reason for asking for freelance problems is to open the door for freelance solutions.

Five qualities all freelancers need

1. MOTIVATION. It's easy for freelancing to slip to the bottom of your to-do list, especially if you don't have any clients at the moment. Your "day job," your family (or your dog or cat) and the necessary rituals of living all all conspire to claim your attention and time. These responsibilities are immediate and obvious; freelancing is not. What harm will it do if you wait until Thursday to write that query you were going to produce on Tuesday? And when Thursday arrives, why not Monday?

Somehow, from somewhere, you have to dredge up the motivation to advance your freelancing career. Sit down with your partner and/or family and enlist their aid in carving out some quiet writing space each week without neglecting your other duties. If you ask them, they will probably offer support.

When you think about it, it's a lot like finding time for daily workouts or adhering to a diet. The advantages are down the road, but they are no less real.

PATIENCE. For every 100 writers who try to earn a living (or even a second income) at freelancing, I would estimate that 80 percent fall away from lack of patience. I often employ a fishing analogy -- sometimes the fish (or the clients) are biting, and sometimes no bait seems to work. Often, the first market you query isn't interested. At such times, I would invoke a line from a Jimmy Buffett song: "Breathe in, breathe out, move on."

It also helps to distance yourself somewhat from your efforts. Send out as many queries as you can, then forget about them. The worst thing you can do is pitch one major market, then sit and wait for a response that may never come.

CURIOSITY. I would list that as the No. 1 quality for any writer. If you are blessed with that, you will rarely run out of ideas. Every waking hour of your life, you'll be surrounded by them.

FLEXIBILITY. Things rarely turn out the way you envision in freelancing. The market that you've decided is perfect for one of your ideas doesn't feel the same way. On the other hand, a throwaway query for which you had no hope bears fruit. An editor sends you an e-mail asking you to rewrite an article completely. That source you really needed at the last minute is on vacation without a cell phone.

It's always good to have a plan, but realize that plans must always be fluid.

CONFIDENCE. This is perhaps the hardest quality to muster for a freelancer, because there are so many reasons to be discouraged. Even established writers often suffer from a lack of faith -- no matter how much you've achieved, you're only as good as your last project.

Writers, then, most learn not only to like themselves, but what they write. Even more importantly, they need to arrive at the sober realization that any creative endeavor is prone to subjectivity.

How many times have you confidently recommended a movie or a book to a friend, only to have them come back later with: "You know, I really didn't like that at all"?

Not everyone is going to applaud or approve of what you produce, no matter what it is.
Leave the back door open for criticism, because some of it may make you better, but know that different opinions are what make the world interesting.

Let me offer another scrap of song lyric, this one from "Garden Party," by the late Ricky Nelson.

"But it's all right now; I've learned my lesson well. You know you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself."

Bookmark that.

A two-word freelance mantra: Why not?

In case you haven't noticed, freelance writing is capricious.

You come up with an idea you think is perfect for Magazine A, which pays enough to hold your mortage at bay for months. A search tells you they have never published an article on that subject, but have accepted quite a few along the same lines. Chuckling to yourself with anticipation, you fire off a confident query. A few weeks later, the response comes back: "Dear Writer: Thank you for thinking of us, but this is not what we need at this particular time."

Resisting the strong impulse to reply: "Are you people morons, or what?" you settle for simply sulking.

Conversely, you send out a random query to a random market on a subject that has only a peripheral connection to what they do. A few weeks later the response comes back: They're interested.

Just as it sometimes rains on picnics and outdoor weddings, or 70-degree days appear in January in Maine, nothing in this business is certain.

As I've mentioned before, and will continue to repeat ad nauseum, it's important to keep freelancing in perspective. We sometimes weigh the decision of who and how to query as if we were preparing a death penalty appeal or a wedding proposal.

Sure, give it your best shot. Make sure the query is relevant, coherent and free from any grammatical mistakes or typos. But also remember: The worst they can do is say no -- or, in some cases, say nothing. If that happens, no one will know about it except you and them. It won't be posted on some gigantic wide-screen scoreboard for all the writing world to see. Moreover, if your contact with that editor is efficient and professional, he or she will probably remember you the next time you query.

In other words, you have nothing to lose by sending out a query.

I'd suggest keeping a small notebook in your pocket and jotting down ideas when they come to you. Then, when you get home that night, send a query to somebody on that idea. They might say yes.

Many of us obsess about queries because we're thinking about it from our perspective. Rather, imagine yourself as an editor.

If that were the case, chances are you would want the queries you read to be short and to the point. You don't really care about the entire work history of the freelancer. You don't care where they went to high school, or how many cats they have. You don't care that it's really, really important to them to get published. You care about:

1. Whether the article suggested would fit into your magazine or onto your Website.
2. If this seems like a good person to write that article.
3. If this seems like someone who would actually finish the article and send it in.

One suggestion I would make would be to briefly qualify any idea that may not obviously fit a magazine's format. It's OK to say something like: "This might seem like a stretch for you, but here's why I think it would work." Otherwise, you run the risk of being exiled to the ranks of the clueless who send the same query to every editor on the planet, regardless of relevance.

Another suggestion is to write down those two words and post them somewhere in your writing space: Why not?

Building your own pipeline

These days, "pipeline" has become a dirty word, especially if you live in one of the Gulf states. Yet pipelines of information are non-polluting -- and, for freelance writers, essential.

To switch metaphors for just a second, a lot of freelancers are dying of thirst when a river of ideas is rushing right past their door. All they need to do is tap into it.

One reason they don't, I think, is the sense of isolation that freelancing can engender. Those of us with journalism backgrounds tend to fare better, because we're used to reaching out to others for suggestions.

The thing is, the world is full of people who want to give you information and tell you stories. What I'm pushing with the Writers' Bridge is a system where you take as many of these nuggets as you can and try to recycle them for pay.

Sure, I hear you -- with your day job, your family, etc, you're too busy to spend a lot of time chasing down these nebulous story subjects. Fair enough. But here are some ways you can bring them into your own space, as simply as turning on your computer. All it takes is a few initial contacts ....

1. Colleges. Identify every college within a reasonable driving distance of where you live, write to the public relations person there, tell them you're a freelance writer and would love to be put on their mailing list.

I live in a small town of 60,000 in Central Virginia, a place where residents take a perverse pride in being one of the largest cities east of the Mississippi not served by an Interstate highway. However, Lynchburg has five colleges, and over the years that has brought me into contact with best-selling authors, pop culture icons, experts in every imaginable field, sports stars, guitar heroes, heads of foreign countries, congresspeople and every U.S. president since (and including) Jimmy Carter.

Find out the schedule of speakers for the colleges on your radar, and the entertainers who come there and the professors who are considered experts in their fields. The PR person will be delighted to keep you informed.

If one of these speakers interests you, send a query to a magazine or Website telling them that you plan to interview that person when they come and would love to do an article for them. Then contact the speaker's press person and ask for a phone interview in advance. I've learned the hard way that it's often difficult to get "face time" with an important person once they get to a college campus, but find out if they're speaking to a class prior to their public appearance and ask if you can sit in.

2. Chambers of Commerce. As with colleges, contact every oine of these in your area, and tell them you'd love for them to feed you ideas. Is there a new business in the next town with an interesting product? What are some tourist attractions that people in other places might be intrigued by? The Chamber people would love to see you get something in print about their city or town -- that's part of their job.

3. Google alerts. I talk about these all the time, but you can use them in connection with subjects in which you might be especially interested. Try to keep them as specific as possible, though, because otherwise they'll cause you to tear your hair out. Target them to your area -- "Autism + Central Florida;" "Deer hunting + Western Pennsylvania," "Music + Cleveland."

4. Blog. By all means, blog. That doesn't mean you have to be a slave to it, but if you post fairly frequently, that's another tap for the pipeline. People will begin e-mailing you with subjects they'd like to see you address.

5. Your local newspaper. As much as you can, read it. There's no law that says you can't take a story that appears there and write your own on the same event or subject.
Also, once you have your blog up and running, ask the newspaper if they would care to provide a link to it.

6. Entertainment venues. Get in touch with the ones in your area and get a schedule or what bands or comics or speakers will be out in the community.

I could think of more, but this should be enough to prime the pipeline.

What kind of writer are you?

OK, so you're a freelance writer. What does that mean? Or, more importantly, what does that mean for you?

Thanks largely to the Internet, there is no shortage of opportunities to make money writing these days. Job-oriented newsletters arrive in thousands of in-boxes each morning, like dessert carts rolling up to restaurant tables. On-line newsletters and magazines have proliferated, even as their more traditional print cousins have been decimated by the economy.

The drawback, of course, is that competition has also been accelerated. It isn't just the newly laid-off newspaper and magazine writers who have been hurled into the mix, but people out of work in other areas who always thought they could make a living writing if only they had the opportunity.

Against this backdrop, it's more important than ever for writers to take inventory of their skills and schedules to determine where they might fit in. If you approach freelance writing as a hobby, it will probably play out like most hobbies -- enjoyable, perhaps, but costing you more money than you bring in.

Some things to consider ...

1. How fast can you write? This has nothing to do with ability -- some of the greatest writers of our time have been excruciatingly slow. It does, however, have to do with the sort of jobs you might want to accept.

I hear a lot of complaints from writers these days about markets offering $10 for an article. If you examine the situation further, however, you realize that not all of these people are philosophical descendants of Ebenezer Scrooge -- some have simply started their projects on a shoestring and can't afford to pay any more.

Either way, it's your choice. But here's where speed comes in. If you can knock out two or three of these little articles in an hour, that's $20-$30 an hour. If they require much in the way of research, or a phone call or two, your return on that investment of time shrinks dramatically. If it would take you an hour for each, your time could probably be better spent elsewhere.

Moreover, if you are a person who takes considerable pride in your writing, these "content mill" jobs will only leave you frustrated and empty. Best to leave them alone.

2. What are you an expert in? If you raise Dobermans, that makes you an expert on Dobermans. If you're struggling with a particular disease or physical ailment, that's another area of expertise. If you grew up in Terre Haute, IN, you're a Terre Haute expert. Given that, you might consider starting a blog on "your" subject, working the search engines and blog-ranking sites, and pulling in traffic. That could lead to advertising on your blog, or freelance opportunities elsewhere.

3. How much time do you have? Like everything else, freelancing will reward you in direct proportion to the amount of effort you can put into it. If you already have two jobs, attempting to freelance on top of that will only cause you more stress.

4. How good are you? You need to find someone without an agenda who can give you an honest and informed critique on your writing (do you know any English professors or journalists?). You wouldn't try to join the PGA golf tour if you couldn't break 100, so see where your current ability level might guide you. This doesn't mean there isn't always room for improvement.

5. Can you prove it? Writing is a very democratic profession. Generally, the people who hire you don't care about your college degree, ethnicity, haircut or sexual preference. They do, however, want to see examples of your writing. Again, starting a blog is a good way to generate that, even if you're not getting published "outside." If you do work for someone else and they seem pleased with it, make sure and ask them for a referral.

Here are just a few of the job possibilities for writers today, with upsides and downsides:

1. Content mill writer. Upside: Easy work, for the most part, and something you can arrange around your schedule. Downside: The pay stinks.

2. Magazine writing. Upside: More money, much more satisfying in terms of creative accomplishment. Downside: There are a lot more potential magazine writers than there is article space, so be prepared for a lot of dead ends.

3. Website writing. Upside: The bar is generally set lower, and you don't have to be as economical with your prose. Downside: The people who run Websites are generally not William Randolph Hearsts -- don't expect to get paid a lot.

4. Technical writing. Upside: Since this is a much more specialized field, the money gets even better. Downside: You can't fake this. You're either a tekkie or you're not.

5. Newspaper writing. A lot of newspapers are using freelance "stringers" these days, usually to cover local government or sports events. Upside: The money isn't bad, but it's sporadic. Downside: These gigs tend to come at the last minute, so you have to be flexible.

6. Book writing. Upside: This is a golden age for writers willing to self-publish, because the options are almost limitless. Downside: Given the diminishing ranks of traditional publishers, the "find an agent, get published, get rich" dream has become even harder to achieve.

7. Resume writing. Upside: You can make a lot of money doing this. Downside: It's boring.

8. Copy editing. Upside: This seems to be the fastest growing writing job field, and there are jobs aplenty. Downside: The pay is all over the map, and the work can be tedious for a creative person.

9. Book editing. Upside: Also a lot of opportunities. Downside: This is extremely labor intensive, and it's hard to find clients who will pay enough to be worth the trouble.

For mental health, reject rejection

As someone who works with freelance writers, I reject the word "rejection" -- at least in our world.

Specifically, I reject its implications. "Rejection" indicates active opposition, as in "The government rejected the latest demand from the rebels." Or "The body of the transplant recipient rejected the new organ." Or "The 6-11 center rejected five of his opponent's shots."

In most cases, that's not what happens when an editor decides not to use something you have written or queried. And calling that a "rejection" only feeds into the self doubt and self loathing that destroys so many writing careers before they start.

I remember a wonderful cartoon that showed a small, balding man walking dejectedly away from the pearly gates, clutching a note that read: "Thank you for applying, but you are not what we need at this particular time." The title of the cartoon was "Hell for editors."

Like probably every other writer who saw that cartoon, I laughed. And sure, it's annoying when you get one of those notes (I'm often tempted to reply: "So, is there a particular time when it would be what you need?"). It's even more annoying when you never receive any response at all.

But those are not rejections. They're choices.

What I always tell writers is, it's similar to when you go to the grocery store for a loaf of bread. There are a dozen different kinds of bread hanging around on the shelf, all perhaps hoping in their passive breadlike way to be chosen, and you pick one.

Does that mean you're rejecting the other breads? Of course not. Maybe the one you picked is the cheapest. Maybe it has oats in it. Or maybe it's the one you saw in a commercial the day before.

It's like that for magazine and Website editors. I know, because I used to be one.

In that capacity, I would have a certain amount of space -- a "newshole," in the vernacular -- that needed to be filled. Every month, I would have more queries and manuscripts than I needed to fill that space.

Sure, there were times when I would decide that an article wasn't up to our standards, either because of the writing or the subject chosen. More often, though, it had to do with length, photo possibilites, and whether or not we had run a similar story in the last year or so.

So instead of saying "I just got a rejection on that idea," I call it a "no." There's a subtle, but important difference. Words have power.

Here's how I've learned to limit the destruction to my writers' psyche by bypassing rejection.

1. Always send queries, not a completed manuscript. Editors like to be able to decide on the length, tone and focus of an article, and you take that away from them when you drop a finished piece on them. Also, if you get a "no," you can take comfort in the fact that they aren't saying no to your writing ability, just the idea. If you're pitching a short story or essay, tease them with a few paragraphs.

2. Keep lots of queries in circulation. That way, having one shot down isn't that big a blow.

3. I interpret the phrase "no simultaneous submissions" to mean the editor doesn't want to receive what is basically a form letter. But one idea can be crafted for different markets -- and if you send that query the next day, it isn't simultaneous.

4. Respond to "no" responses. It's rude for editors not to e-mail or write back to us when we query them. But when you think about it, it's also rude for us not to answer them when they do.

When I receive a no, I always fire off a quick e-mail or note that says: ""Thanks for your consideration. Perhaps I can tempt you another time."

Don't expect a response to that, but it may implant your name in that editor's mind.

5. Sure, you're mad about losing a sale. Use that. I try to immediately send off another query on the same idea that day.

Rejection sucks. But not calling it that might ease the sting a bit.